Few things I find as amusing as a good scam baiting operation. The other day, I ran into one of the stupidest scams ever, but which turned out to be one of my funniest correspondences with scammers as well. I won’t go into details about the scam itself in this introduction, as it hardly made any sense at all, but I will embed below the entire dialogue I exchanged with that scammer from Benin, which I believe presents an ideal occasion for laughing one’s head off.
The following email, sent from address [email protected] and subjected GOOD NEWS AND URGENT REPLY BACK, made it past my spam filters:
This is to inform you that we have been working towards the eradication of fraudsters and scam Artists in Africa with the help of the Organization of African Unity (OAU) United Nations (UN), European Union (EU) and FBI.
We have been able to track down some scam artists in various parts of African countries which includes (Nigeria, Republic of Benin, Ghana and Senegal with cote d’ivoire ) and they are all in Government custody now, they will appear at International Criminal Court (ICC) soon for Justice.
During the course of investigation, they were able to recover some funds from these scam artists and IMF organizations have ordered the funds recovered to be shared among the 10 Lucky people listed around the World as compensation. This notice has been directed to you because your email address was found in one of the scam Artists file and computer hard-disk while the investigation, maybe you have been scammed. You are therefore being compensated with a sum of $2,900,000.00 US Dollars valid into an (ATM Card Number 4577 9324 6316 0548).
Since your email address is among the lucky beneficiaries who will receive a compensation funds, we have arranged your payment to be paid to you through ATM VISA CARD and deliver to your postal address with the Pin Numbers as to enable you withdrawal maximum of $7,000.00 on each withdrawal from any Bank ATM Machine of your choice, until all the funds are exhausted.
The ATM Card with Security Pin Numbers shall be delivered to you via courier Service, depending your choice.
In order to proceed with this transaction, you will be required to contact the agent in-charge ( Mr. Anthony Edward ) via e-mail. Kindly look below to find appropriate contact information:
CONTACT AGENT NAME: MR.ANTHONY EDWARD
CONTACT EMAIL BELOW (Â [email protected]Â )
You will be required to e-mail him with the following information:
FULL NAME:………..
COUNTRY:………….
NATIONAL………….
ADDRESS:………….
CITY:……………
STATE:…………..
ZIP CODE:…………
DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER:….
WHATSAPP NUMBER………..
OCCUPATION:……………
We advise you to stop all communications with everyone regarding your payment as we have shortlisted you to deliver to you and now urgent you to comply and receive your ATM Card funds.
Thanks for your understanding as you follow instructions while I wait
to hear from you today.
Yours in Services
Mr. Anthony Edwards
This letter was accompanied by a big “Google Forms” heading and a “FILL OUT FORM” button on the bottom. I did just as prompted. I titled an email as “I won money” and sent it to the requested address. The fun began…
Good afternoon Mr. Anthony Edward!!! How are you? I received your email informing me about your valiant efforts. I would like to express to you my sincere admiration about eradicating and tracking down and all. Good bloody job. I also read that I have won $2,900,000.00 US Dollars. Is that really true? Did I understand well? Itâs not some kind of joke, right? If thatâs so, it is a very good turn of luck, sir, because you can be assured that I will donate part (between 10% and 35%, havenât made up my mind yet) to OAU, UN, EU, and FBI to be allocated back to your cause. I provide you bellow with the information you requested. Do please inform me with regard to further steps.Â
Yours, Dimi
Full name: Dimi Avarichus Andronicus de Compostella
Country: Spain
National: Cordobés
Address: Calle de la Promiscuidad 657
City: Cordoba
State: AndalusiaÂ
Zip code: 99899
Direct contact number: donât have (I couldnât pay the bills)
Whatsapp number: donât have (had to sell my mobile last month)
Occupation: caballero
Attention
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your email and the content is well noted, Sequel to your email application i am concerned for the delivery/shipping of your ATM CARD Valued $2,900,000.00 US Dollars (One Million United State Dollars) which was approved in your name by United Nations, and I have received the Dispatch Requirements from the Courier Service Companies that will send the (ATM CARD) to your giving address in your Country.
Kindly acknowledge the following conditions for smooth delivery of the ATM Card to you.
               2020 Shipping Rate Information
DHL : Shipping rate charges;……………….$
150
FedEx: Shipping rate **charges;……………..$
170
UPS: Shipping rate **charges;…………….. $125
Post Office:**Shipping rate **charges;…………$115
TNT_swcpost_vert_PMS_POS]TNT:*
*Shipping rate charges;……$190
Kindly chose one of the above mentioned companies and Let me know, for the immediate Delivering of your ATM Card to your  giving address in your Country as i was instructed by United Nations/World Bank President Dr. Mark Jonathan.Your Urgent Response is  Appreciated Thanks  Yours at Service
Mr. Jack Lew (U.S Secretary of the Treasury ) United Nation(U.N) Agent
CC: Jim Yong Kim World Bank president
CC: Mr. Ban Ki-moon UN Secretary General
Good afternoon Mr. Jack Lew! It is a great honor to be in correspondence with such an important man as yourself. Wow, I mean, working for the US and the UN at the same time, I could never imagine I would get to know a man of your status and prestige. And good afternoon to you too Mr. Ban Ki-moon and Mr. Jim Yong Kim! Itâs an honor to meet you as well. Thank you all for having chosen me as the winner. I will never forget it. Okay, to the point, what will I gain by choosing one of the more expensive mail services? Will my atm card arrive considerably faster? If so, yes, I would like to go with the faster service available. Otherwise, I will go with the post office. I am waiting for your further instructions.
Kindly yours, Dimi
PS Mr. Jim Yong Kim, sorry Iâm getting a bit too intimate with this question, but judging by your name, do you by any chance happen to be related to the Wise Leader, Commander-in-Chief, Father of the People, Fate of the Nation, Sun of Socialism, General Kim Jong-Un? If so, allow me to ask you for a little favor. Iâve seen they have a lovely ski resort there in North Korea. Would you be so kind to mediate for me being accepted there as a VIP for a Christmas ski trip after I get my money? I donât care how much I would need to pay for that.
Attention.
Â
Thank you for your mail I received and you have chosen Post Office delivery service in order to enable us deliver your ATM Card package worth sum of $2,900,000.00 USD to your current home address as you provided to our office and now are advice to use this info here to send the required fee of $115.00 USD needed to Benin Republic, so that the diplomat agent will arrive this country today to proceed ahead immediately to your finally destination country to deliver your packages to your current home address today without any further delay again ok.
And once you send the official delivery fee of $115.00 USD needed today within 24hours after the payment, your ATM Card package worth sum of $2,900,000.00 USD will be delivered to your correct home address with the pin code number that you will use to start having access to your ATM Card fund worth sum of $2,900,000.00 USD without no more fees demand for you again after the official delivery fee of $115.00 needed Ok
Here is the Info Below to send the delivery fee $115.00 USD needed through Via MoneyGram or Western Union or RIA Money Transfer Ok
Receiver Details Below.
Receiver First Name …. GODWIN
Last Name………………Â
 EMMAÂ
Â
Country……….. BENIN REPUBLIC
City………. COTONOU
Amount……$115.00 USDÂ
Sender Name………..
Sender Country……
We are still waiting to receive the payment details today for the immediate Delivering of your ATM Card to your giving address in your Country today as it was instructed by United Nations/World Bank President Mr. Jim Yong Kim.
Your Urgent Response back is well Appreciated
Thanks Â
Yours at Service
Mr. Anthony Edwardds
Contact Email ([email protected])
Hello again Mt Anthony Edwardds! Thanks for your quick reply. Thatâs totally alright, I want to send you that money today so that I will receive mine as well the soonest possible. But the problem is that Western Union and all other money-transfer offices are closed in town due to the Covid lockdown and they wonât open for some time. Is there a possibility I could send the money by PayPal or direct bank deposit online?
Ok there is no problem, I shall be looking forward to hear from you urgent soon after you chosen one option and get the payment done, so that your ATM Card package worth sum of $2,900,000.00 USD will be deliver to your correct home address successfully after the payment without any further delay again Okay
Once again we don’t accept payment through PayPal or direct bank deposit online, you can chosen one option here below to make the payment through Ok
1. Through World Remit
2. Through RIA Money Transfer
3. Through BitcoinÂ
Your Urgent Response back is well Appreciated
Thanks Â
Yours at Service
Mr. Anthony Edwardds
Contact Email ([email protected])
Hello again Mr. Anthony! Iâm really embarrassed to say that, but I donât know these things you have mentioned. I asked my nephew, Pablo, but he doesnât know either. Since you donât accept Paypal and bank transfers, would you be so kind to explain what these things are? I havenât never heard them before. Iâm not sure if we have them in town. Alternatively, I could also send the money to your contact in Benin by mail pigeon. I have already talked with my neighbor, Manuel, who breeds them. He said he could borrow me Chiquita, his best one. She is very fast and never gets lost. Do you think that would work? Also, I could pay in cash if you have some friend here in Cordoba to pop by and collect it. Or I could also go to the UN headquarters and pay there. Would that work Mr. Anthony?
Thank you for your mail I received and here is another option to send the required fee of $125.00 USD successful, go to any Apple shop around you to send it through US iTunes Gift Card or Steam Wallet Gift Card or Google Play Gift Card and that’s only easy way to get the payment done, because that’s only thing that holding your ATM Visa Card worth sum of $2,900,000.00 USD right now.
Once again send the required fee of $125.00 USD through US iTunes Gift Card or Steam Wallet Gift Card or Google Play Gift Card and remember to buy iTunes Gift Card or Steam Wallet Gift Card or Google Play Gift Card $100/$25, that’s two Cards you will buy and get back to me here with the picture of the Cards Okay
Iâm sorry but I donât think we have any Apple shop in my town. Sure, we have Jorge the greengrocer at the corner around from mine, who sells all sorts of fruits and vegetables, including apples, but as far as I know, he doesnât issue any gift cards. How about PayPal, bank transfer, or Chiquita the pigeon? Is there absolutely no chance I could send you the money by any of these methods?
Ok there is no problem, here is the Paypal account as you requested and you can send the required fee of $125.00 USD needed through Paypal account and get back to me here once you it done, so that your ATM Card package worth sum of $2,900,000.00 USD will be deliver to your correct home address successfully after the payment without any further delay again Okay
Send the $125.00 USD through Paypal account: [email protected]
Your Urgent Response back is well Appreciated
Thanks Â
Yours at Service
Mr. Anthony Edwardds
Contact Email ([email protected])
Good morning Mr. Anthony! Thank you so much for getting out of your way and accepting PayPal. I wonât forget you when I become a millionaire. One last thing, it is a legal requirement in my country to provide the authorities with an ID copy of the receiver when sending money abroad. Would you be so kind as to send me over a picture of the passport of Mrs. Emma Godwin or whoever it is that this PayPal address is registered to?
Listen to me now, you don’t need any ID or Passport in making the payment through PayPal Ok, so if you are serious about making the payment and receive your ATM Card package worth a sum of $2,900,000.00 USD successfully today then go ahead and send the required fee of $125.00 USD through Paypal account.
Send the $125.00 USD through Paypal account: [email protected]
Your Urgent Response back is well Appreciated
Thanks Â
Yours at Service
Mr. Anthony Edwardds
Contact Email ([email protected])
I am very sorry about that Mr. Anthony. Itâs not I who need an ID, itâs my countryâs law. The government has an agreement with PayPal, and they will not let you send money abroad out of the country without providing ID. Stupid laws, I know. I am of course gravely serious about receiving my ATM Card package worth a sum of $2,900,000.00 USD, and I painstakingly try to figure out a way to send the required fee of $125.00 USD to respectable Mrs. Emma Godwin in Benin, but itâs not so easy to send money abroad from where I live. If you cannot provide me with an ID copy, I have another idea. Would you, Mr. Anthony, be willing to pay the fee on my behalf? I promise that once I receive my ATM Card, I will fly straight away to Benin, or wherever you reside, and I will pay you back in cash a sum of $125,000.00 USD!! Yes, Mr. Anthony, this could be a great investment opportunity for you, leaving you with a net profit of $124,875.00 USD! If for any reason â due to your high position or whatever â you cannot accept this proposition, I would like to inform you that Chiquita the pigeon is well fed and ready to be dispatched upon your request! Iâve done the math and figured out that she could make it to Benin in 3 days at most, even less than 2 days if she travels overtime â although it is not wise to overwork her as she may croak from exhaustion. It will be very easy for Mrs. Emma Godwin to recognize her. Sheâs an exceptionally beautiful, all-white pigeon. What do you think Mr. Anthony? Should I let her fly right away?
We don’t give ID for PayPal account payment, so if you are not ready yet then you can forget about your ATM Card fund Ok
No no no, please, Mr. Anthony, I beg you, you cannot do this to me. I cannot forget my ATM Card fund. I have already told everyone in town I will become rich, and I have asked all the chicks out. It will be so embarrassing if I donât get my money in the end. It is not fair anyway. I am the rightful winner of the ATM Card fund ok. Iâm just running into complications with sending the fee that are out my control. But donât worry. I have already dispatched the pigeon and sheâs on her way to Benin. She must be already flying over Sahara by now. I fed her a good dose of steroids, so I believe she will make it there by tomorrow afternoon, Benin time. Please show a bit more patience Mr. Anthony. Iâm sure that the UN, US, and EU will understand. There is only one problem, since I donât know Mrs. Emma Godwinâs exact address, I told Chiquita to go to the town post office instead. Please inform Mrs. Emma Godwin to wait for her there tomorrow afternoon. Also, ask her to wear a hat because Chiquita has the bad habit of shitting on peopleâs heads. Lastly, to make sure that the money will be safe, I put it inside Chiquitaâs rectum. You reckon Mrs. Emma Godwin will be familiar with the process of anal glands evacuation? If not, do please try to explain her how to extract the money. It works pretty much the same way like the thing the dudes in Benin do to her at night, only that she must use only two fingers instead of the whole arm or a beer bottle. Okay?
Ok there is no problem, here Mr. Brandon Adam ID Card the owner of PayPal account, that you will send the required fee of $125.00 USD needed to Okay
Send the $125.00 USD through Paypal account: [email protected]
Your Urgent Response back is well Appreciated
Thanks Â
Yours at Service
Mr. Anthony Edwardds
Contact Email ([email protected])
Here we go. That would have been much simpler if you were going to send this to me right away. Now I dispatched poor Chiquita across the continent for no reason. But Anyways, thanks for the effort, Mr. Anthony, and sorry for all the trouble. I will now send the money to Mr. Brandon Adam ASAP!!! But Iâm afraid I will have to deduce the pigeonâs costs. That will come to:
Rental from Manuel: $10
Steroids: $8
What I paid Daniel the retarded boy to put the money up Chiquitaâs arsehole: $0.50
Sorry that I cannot send you receipt for these expenses. We did it all under the table. But trust, Mr. Anthony, thatâs exactly what I paid. I wouldnât lie to you.
So I will send to Mr. Brandon Adam a total of $106.50 USD. Thanks again!! Iâm looking forward to receiving my ATM Card!!!
Dear Mr. Anthony, I donât know how to tell you this, I feel a little embarrassed, but I just tried to send the money and I couldnât. For some strange reason, they require an extra step of authentication. They requested me to also upload a selfie of the accountâs owner holding a written sign with the keyword âpenetratemyanusâ. Would you please ask Mr. Brandon for this last little thing? Itâs the last step, Mr. Anthony, I promise. I have already paid the money, but they will only be released after I upload the picture, immediately. Thanks a lot for the understanding. Iâm waiting for the image. âPlease make sure the keyword is clearly legible,â says PayPal.
Please be quick Mr. Anthony. My payment is due to expire in 1 hour if I fail to provide adequate verification.
I didn’t hear from them again.